But as I caught myself thinking that it is nice to be home, I am once again reminded of the question: What is "home"? What makes a place a home? Can a person have many homes? Does a home have to be a physical building?
Tomas and I have this little house in the middle of nowhere really, in a tiny village called Hulån, which is in Dala-Järna (slightly larger village) in the province of Dalarna, in Sweden. We love our little house, even though it is probably not especially charming from the outside! But perhaps we like it so much because it is ours; the sense of ownership, both physical and metaphorical, is perhaps what draws us to it. Or perhaps it is the fact that we feel "at home" in these surroundings, in the colors and decor that we have chosen, in the house that we bought cheaply and fixed up all by ourselves. Or does it feel like home since we have spent time here? Or is it that our relatives are just a short distance away?
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| Our little house in Hulån, Dalarna |
But we also feel at home in our apartment in Uppsala, in the lovely city where we have lived since we got married (except for the time in China). Uppsala is definitely my Swedish home city. Yaminah even calls our gorgeous Cathedral, Scandinavia's largest, "Mommy's church." :) I think she has picked up on the fact that I feel at home in the church whenever my choir sings there.
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| Uppsala Domkyrka, Uppsala Cathedral, seen from one of my favorite views of Uppsala |
To feel "at home" in one's current house, city, or childhood town seems, however, understandable. But the thing is, when we lived in China, we felt at home there as well! When we moved from northern China after two years, to southern China, the first thing we did was find a flower shop (not always easy) and fill the apartment with green plants, and decorate to make it cozy. Our Chinese students often said later that it was so much fun to visit a western apartment. But then we gently pointed out, um, you are in a Chinese apartment in China, with Chinese things... :) But they meant of course that it was fun to see what we would do with the place. All that we did was do our best to make it cozy--to make it feel like home.
"Home is where your heart is." "Home is where you hang your hat." "Honey, I'm home..." What does the word "home" make you think of? Is it to be near your relatives? Is it to feel safe? Is it to be in a place where you feel that you can be yourself, or where you can relax?
One thing is certain. To be in the position that I am in, to be able to feel "at home" here, and even in many different places, is certainly to be blessed, and to be privileged. Although I often miss my family who are far away in the States, at least we can keep in touch, and know that we are all okay. There are certainly far too many people in this world today who do not have a place they call "home." Perhaps they are homeless people in our own societies, in the US and Sweden. Or perhaps they are people who live in impoverished conditions or a country torn apart by war. Or perhaps they are people who have a home--but who cannot feel "at home" there anyways, no matter how beautiful it might appear from the outside, because of a feeling of emptiness inside, or even worse: of violence in the home.
My tea has cooled as I have written this; it is time for more, and the fire needs another log. Then my warm, cozy bed awaits me. Yes, it is truly good to be home, but perhaps it would be even better to say, it is blessed to be home.
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